“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”- Meister Eckhart

“Rejoice! The mere sense of life is reason enough.”-Emily Dickinson

As Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us, we are beckoned to have a sense of Gratitude. Gratitude is defined as a a quality of being thankful; an appreciation, and an eagerness to return kindness. We all know, that on some level, we’re very lucky to be born in this time and place, to have our health. To have our family and friends.

However, gratitude is a feeling that represents the ultimate place of emotional health. Consider it may also be a powerful tool to attain emotional health.

Gratitude is a feeling that dwells in the broad region we call acceptance. As already discussed, it goes; denial, anger/anxiety, bargaining, sadness, then acceptance. Other emotions that lie within the region of acceptance are calmness, forgiveness, contentedness and hope.

However, we cannot reach a sense of gratitude until we’ve overcome the anger/anxiety and pain of sadness. We can’t truly feel a deep sense of appreciation for how good we have it when we’re angry or scared, and in a fight or flight mode. We also can’t experience the feeling of gratitude when we’re carrying pain or sadness, such as after the death of a loved one or any other catastrophe.

Doing what we can to be in a calm place, such as looking inward during meditation or prayer, it becomes possible to access a sense of gratitude, and utilize this feeling to foster a stronger sense of emotional health.

Below is a partial list taken from Chat AI of recent scientific studies which support the power of having a sense of gratitude:

1. Emmons & McCullough (2003)

• Title: “The Impact of Gratitude on Well-Being: A Study of Young Adults”
• Method: Participants were divided into three groups: one group kept a weekly gratitude journal, the second group noted daily hassles, and the third group recorded neutral life events.
• Findings: The gratitude group reported higher levels of positive affect, optimism about the future, and greater life satisfaction. They also expressed fewer physical problems.

2. Wood, Perkins, & Gallagher (2010)

• Title: “Gratitude and Mental Health: The Role of Social Relationships”
• Method: Participants completed surveys measuring gratitude, mental health indicators (like depression and anxiety), and perceived social support.
• Findings: High levels of gratitude were associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety and were mediated by perceived social support. Gratitude fostered stronger social bonds, thereby enhancing mental well-being.

3. Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson (2005)

• Title: “Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions”
• Method: Participants were instructed to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had been particularly kind to them.
• Findings: Those who performed this act reported significant increases in happiness and a decrease in depressive symptoms over weeks. The effects were lasting, indicating the long-term benefits of gratitude.

4. Froh, Sefick, & Emmons (2008)

• Title: “Gratitude Intervention in Middle School Students”
• Method: Middle school students participated in a gratitude intervention where they wrote and reflected on things they were grateful for weekly.
• Findings: Results showed increases in overall well-being, life satisfaction, and self-esteem, along with a decrease in negative feelings.

5. Algoe, Haidt, & Gable (2008)

• Title: “The Social Functions of the Gratitude Emotion”
• Method: This study examined how expressing gratitude affects social interactions and individual well-being over time.
• Findings: Gratitude expression strengthened relationships, leading to improved mental health outcomes among individuals and fostering mutual support that promoted well-being.

6. Credit & Gratitude—Roberts & Sweeney (2018)

• Title: “Gratitude, Forgiveness, and Mental Well-Being”
• Method: Participants reported on their gratitude and forgiveness levels and completed mental health assessments.
• Findings: The study found positive correlations between gratitude and mental health factors, such as happiness and reduced depression, emphasizing that gratitude may aid in promoting emotional resilience.

We communicate with each other through emotions. We feel tense when we’re around angry/anxious people. We are calm and more comfortable in the presence of calm people.

Being present with the sense of gratitude is likely the most powerful way to connect to others. We can see this to some extent with the cheesy exercise that we’ve all been through around the Thanksgiving dinner table. “I’m thankful for my friends and family;I’m thankful for this great food.” “I’m thankful that my football team won today”. Everybody groans when the ceremony is suggested, but at the same time we know that it feels good and makes the people at the table feel close.

A powerful exercise I recommend to build community, and offset loneliness, is to go through your contacts, and reach out to someone, by either text or email, expressing gratitude for the good the relationship with them brought to you.

“Hi Pete, it’s been a long time since we’ve been in touch. I wanted to reach out and thank you for the good times we had as friends in high school. Remember how we used to drive Miss. Sanchez crazy in Spanish class.”

“Hello Miss. Schwartz, I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Season Smith. You were my piano teacher in the late 90s. I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and patience, even when I was a terrible student. It gave me a sense of security and appreciation for playing music.”

This feels wonderful to the person receiving the gratitude, and I bet you’ll hear back from them. What a great way to expand our tribe.

It’s amazing to me, and a terrible loss, that we don’t inherently have a sense of deep gratitude. How lucky we are.

Consider this, a human male produces 15,000 sperm cells per second. Over 100 million spermatozoa per day! Trillions by the time we are 30 years old. It seems miraculous that I am alive, because of the one sperm that found its way to fuse with my mother‘s egg and successfully developed to become me.

Our very existence is a wonder. There are so many ways that things can go wrong. We must be very grateful for how often they remain alright.

When very emotionally healthy people reach the end of their lives, they’ve overcome fear and sadness, and approach the end with a sense of acceptance and gratitude.

When Keith Richard was asked how he feels about being so old and soon facing dying, he remarked. “I’ll look and say ‘I had my fun’.